One year and counting.....

Last year at this time I was laying in bed. praying for a miracle, for an answer, for an end. I had lay in bed for almost two weeks. Unable to get up on my own strength, was trying to drink and eat but my body was rejecting everything. The pain was beyond anything I had felt in the past 8 years (if you  go by pain scale 0-10, I was at a 10++++).
Husband left me that morning with pain and worry in his eyes. Even if we both didn't talk about it we both knew this fight was coming to a close. I called him a few minutes after he left and let him hear what he had been begging me to tell him. Go ahead and take me to the emergency room. Lets see if they can do something different this time. If you know me , you know I'm not a quitter, I'm a bit stubborn. I do not back down to a challenge... Not sure what made me take that picture on the left. Other than I had faith. I felt that in time I would want to remember the moment I was giving up control.

Didn't even make it to the car. I collapse on our drive way. Had to be taken into hospital by ambulance. Getting in  was a little of the same old story.. we have no idea  whats  wrong other  than  you are starving your self,  you are not taking your meds.. blahh, blahh. Blood work showed my body was so depleted of nutrients, blood, it was starting to shut down. The pain was unbearable. not so much the physical pain but the pain I felt in my heart when I saw my loved ones feel so helpless. Me being me I tried to smile, and play it off. I knew this time was different. I was tired, my spirit as tired. It had been a long 8 years of questions, and very little answers.

 I don't even remember this picture being taken. This little guy, I can't even explain.... His love for me... is one of the many reasons I held on. I was blessed to have my brother stationed only 45 minutes away. My mom flew from California was here with in days.


I remember knowing I was going to be in the hospital for a while and no real date of release.. there was a plan to keep me alive but no real answer as to the why's to my condition. I lost two weeks of time. I was being given to much protein and my body couldn't handle it. I remember around the 28th of January I was trying to figure out why everyone looked so tired.... After all the doctors talking it was decided have an open stomach surgery... This decision saved my life.
Part of my intestine was not working properly, I had a ball (a tennis size) of metal covered in scar tissue. I had a hernia repair 8 years prior and at some point that came undone and created a metal ball. In eight years no one had been able to figure that out.. One of the many questions was finally answered. Why I was always in need of blood transfusions. why I was in so much pain.

The story of my surgery will come later..... I just want to celebrate today and the year full of blessings I have had since then. I've had nothing but Victories... every day I'm alive is a victory to me....

I want to finish this on a good note. My day started making husband breakfast, prepping his lunch, sending him off to work with a kiss at the front door. I made some juice for my breakfast and the rest of the day. Got dressed and out the door I went. 5 miles of a fast walk.. a few tears of joy... Washer and dryer are going.... have plans to deep cleaned the bathroom.... Special dinner is being planned for the hubby....... My fur children are going wild down stairs. My day is way different today than it was a year ago..... Thank you God for that.... I have so many things to be thankful for.

I pray that you take a moment to remember your journey. Remember where you have been in a year. Celebrate every victory no matter how  small it is. Remember you are not the same person you were a year ago.... Blessings Idalia Green