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Friday, October 11, 2013

Health Update

I promised an update... Here we go.... in the past few months I have been dealing with a lot of pain due to a hernia. I have also noticed my energy levels slightly get lower and lower. I have made excuses for all my symptoms.... working long hours, having split days off, very busy personal life. Which in my crazy mind made it all connect and justify itself.....
 Let me be the first to admit I WAS WRONG!!!! yes you can write it on your calendar, and you can definitely remind me of it so I  do not forget it. 

 I have Insurance once again, which is something I feel totally Blessed for. I am Blessed to have a job that provides me several options as far as my coverages are concerned. is it cheap no, but not having insurance is way more expensive for someone like me.  I know in my heart that God's timing is perfect.

 After my appointment on Thursday, I got reminded of many things. One that I am not alone in what ever I am facing. That when I am weak, I have many who will be strong for me. That when my mind is getting attacked by fear and doubts, I have some very strong prayer warriors who will go to the Throne of Grace to brings my burdens up to our Heavenly Father. And this is Priceless, and I hope that you reading this know that I to pray for you, and I will  go to the Throne on your behalf.

 I'm confident that no matter what the outcomes of my tests are I will once again come out in full victory. It may get scary, and tiresome but I am not a person that gives up. I am going to need surgery for a hernia repair, while doctor was checking heart, there were a few things that made her want a follow up with a cardiologist ( was one of the issues while I was in ICU, so this does not surprise me, better safe than sorry) . I am showing signs of not absorbing all my nutrients again, this explains the fatigue, headaches, mental fog. Because of my family's health history doctor wants to get my  BRCA1 and BRCA2 gene tested ( hey I might just get the new boobs I have been asking for , lol I know I'm nuts).

So lets just say there will be a lot of Doctors appointments, a lot of medical tests. But one thing I am sure of is I AM AN OVERCOMER! My GOD is bigger than any sickness invented.

The two links below are two of my favorite songs... 

Overcomer by Mandisa

Matthew West Strong Enough

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

36 years of wonderful Blessings!

Wow I made it to my 36th Birthday, Imagine that! I feel so Blessed for every second of my life. For all my struggles and for all my Victories. I've had an AMAZING year. I have slowly regain my health, my strength, my Faith in my self.

I don't know when I lost my self. Maybe it started when my health started to take things away from me. like my ability to work, my ability to enjoy the simple things in life.

I know I tried hard to hold on to what I used be no realizing that I was trying to hold on to the past and not living life at what it was in its moment.

I've had some hard lessons in the past years. One of the hardest has been that I am Loved. Not because of my accomplishments, or my failures, but because I am a Child of God.

 So how do I plan on spending my special day, well let me tell you.... Working, yup I am so excited about that simple and ordinary fact. I am working an 8 hour shift. Even though I soooo miss my Wednesday Bible study girls. I plan on enjoying my 8 hours to its fullest. I plan on taking all those complaints that come into my phone like a Rockstar. lol

Am I where I expected to be at 36? no, not at all. I expected to have a house full of screaming children. Instead I have a house full of crazy fur children. I figured I would have my degree in business Administration, instead I'm finishing my training at the end of this week for an entry position at a Sears Call center. I can honestly tell you I could not be happier with all my Blessings. I have the most Loving and Supporting Husband, I have a Family that loves me even if I'm the weirdo in the room. I am part of a very special Church Family. Lets just say I am that Special Friend for a lot of you..... lol.

So before the craziness of tomorrow starts, I want to Thank you all for all your Love and support. know that you are all in my daily prayers, Know that My Blessings are yours as well. Love you all........

Lets Celebrate This very special Day!!!!!

Thank you Lord for another Year of Victories and Blessings!

Saturday, April 20, 2013

What are you filling your self with?

A few weeks back I was at church and I was walking by someone holding a new born.... I said "oohh some one else to corrupt!, one of my favorite Girls ( a very wise youth) said .. The baby needed to be Idalianated!!! Oh  boy I do not think she knew  what kind of monster she was about to create....

I know its been a few weeks since my last post. There has been a few changes in my life. For starters I'm on my second week of training in a new job. This girl has gotten her self a real job (full time work with full benefits). This past two weeks have been an eye opener. Not just to the working world but to how much I have grown.

I know that I see things different from most because I have experienced life a little different than most. I see things with brand new eyes. I do feel like a child in many ways. I have the excitement, and joy that a child would have  with a new adventure.

Before I started Work I made a promise to my self not change. I did not want to start making excuses for not being physically active, eating healthy, continue in my spiritual journey. This week I have been tested in a few ways.

Computer system we are being trained on has been having glitchs left and right. I had not notice how Jaded people can get on work and life it self. There has been a few labels been added to my person.

1: Annoying Happy cheerful fully awake morning person. (with no caffeine, and you know what that translates to.... People have to dislike you for that)

2:  Health nut. Me not wanting to indulge in handfuls of candy, fried foods, and junk food, well that  just speaks weirdness.

3.Jesus Freak. Yup not once in my life did I think this would be one label next to my name.

Are you ready to hear what I have to say about all of this...... I feel Honored to have those labels.Have you ever stopped and noticed what are you filling your Body, Mind, Soul with? There has to be a balance in all you do. If there is one thing off balance things just wont run smoothly. For me its very important How I start my day, and how I end it.

Walking in the morning set the day for me. Its my quiet time. Its the time to slow down and let God show me his wonderful creation (nature). My breakfast is 16oz of Green Juice, to me that means a Jar full of Health. not only does it give me the nutrition I need but its really my morning fuel (no caffeine or sugar needed for this gal). I choose to see thins in a positive way, I see difficult situations as challenges that need to be conquered. Not obstacles that will leave me defeated. I choose what goes in my body, my mind, my spirit. I end my day by reading my Bible.

I watch what I speak over my self and others. Today I learned that I also do not let others speak lies,negativity,sickness,death over me. Not sure where that confidence or boldness came from. The only thing I can say is To Him all the glory, honor and praise!!!

As the work day came to a close some one are a joke made a comment that was just not something Im not ok with. Especially with all the tragedies that have been happening around our country and in our area. I was looking down at my computer, and well I responded to the comment. I did not realize I had said it our loud for the world to hear.....  " I believe in a Living, Loving God, who has made the ultimate sacrifice for my Salvation, He has given me Victory"." I do not speak sickness,death,negative over my self or my life, I rebuke your Lies"...... Yeah I looked up and well there were eyes on me... then I realized what had happen, lol  my response was not just in my head.... We shall see what Monday brings.

If you are still reading this I just  want you to know that if you fill your self with Jesus, with Health, with positive influences, those are the things that will come out of your mouth. No matter what the situation you will have Victory. Your circumstances will no longer have power over your life.


Proverbs 18:21

Amplified Bible (AMP)
21 Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and they who indulge in it shall eat the fruit of it [for death or life].

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

A year of Miracles and Self discoveries

This time last year I had no clue if I was ever going to leave the hospital. The talks were you are leaving this facility only to go to another one to help you recover. The Chaplin at the hospital was an angel and took me outside to the spring air and sunshine. After being in the hospital 3 months this very simple act of kindness on her part was a huge blessing for me. I can still close my eyes and feel the warmth of the sun, the light breeze moving the little hair that had started to grow back. I still had to sit on a wheelchair and be helped but I was not in a bed, I was not in a comma, I was able to fully enjoy what was happening (yup there were tears, and I had to promise I would not try to run away). March14  we were told there might be a possibility of me going home in two days, with a lot of restrictions but Going home. Boy did I pray and made everyone pray with me some more. I missed my Fur kids, I missed my husband (not the tired/worried/ anxious person that had been coming to visit me), I missed my Church Family.

 Hubby helped wheel me out of the Hospital on March 16 2012. Oh what a glorious day.. It was cloudy, rainy, and cold. But I swear it was one of the most beautiful day in my life. Hubby asked.. "where do you want to go first?"  knowing my husband I knew there was no food at home (no real food). so off to Walmart we went.... The first time in almost two years I was able to walk the whole store (with the help of the shopping cart). Yes I was the crazy lady giggling all over the store. i was seeing things for the first time in a long time. My eye sight was almost gone when I went in to the hospital in January. I was seeing for the first time in a long time. The noises were every where. I had a blast just  watching people interact with each other.

One thing I noticed was how everyone looked tired,stressed,unhappy. I was quick to mention this to my husband, he just smiled and gave me a kiss and told me " It's so good to have you back". Here I was walking on my own strength. Yes I had a feeding tube in my stomach, a chest port being pumped with antibiotics, a hole in my throat (from the tracheostomy). But I was the happiest girl in the world.  Seeing my loving husband be so proud to hold my hand as we both giggled down the grocery isles was priceless.

          5 things I have learned this year...

1: Nothing is Impossible

2:There is no I/You Can't

3:I am loved beyond any understanding

4:My dreams Can/Will come true

5: With Discipline & Consistency I can achieve it all

I am thankful every day for all the obstacles that I have had this year. with every single one of them I have proven to my self what I am capable of doing. I see the world differently from how It used to be.

I appreciate the small as much as the big. I heard something last week at our Bible study. someone saying.." I'm sitting on top of the world, swinging my feet" That is exactly how I feel.

One year later and I am a different person inside and out. I have slowly conquered old fears. I have slowly gained confidence in my self and my abilities. I am driving again (had not been able to in almost 8 years). I have a part time Job, which gives me great satisfaction. I am very active in my Church. I am physically active on a daily basis. i challenge my self to step out of my comfort zone on a daily basis. I try to share my love for life to everyone I meet. Life is to short to waste it wishing for change.

I pray that as you read this..

2 Corinthians 12:9-10

But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.  That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
...You find the peace and wisdom to make the changes in your life to improve your current situations. God has created you to be amazing. He has given you all you will ever need. all you have to do is reach out and accept it. Blessings.

Thursday, February 14, 2013

A Happy rebirth celebration

I look at this picture and see so much sadness and pain. I also remember how tired I was. My prayer was "Heavenly father make this nonsense stop, please bring healing or make it end. My spirit is tired, I feel my soul dying I can handle my hurt and my pain, but seeing my loved ones in such agony over my pain has to come to a stop, Please Father have Mercy"
I wrote it down on one of the hospital's brochures.
I was loosing so much hair my Mom and I decided it was time to cut it, especially after we heard I was going to have surgery the next morning. she walked to the Nurses stationed and asked for scissors. I think I only agreed to it because it made her smile. After being in the hospital for a month I would try just about anything not to see the pain in her eyes.

  Feb 2 2012, was going to be a date of change. I felt it, I prayed for it. I had come to the point of accepting what ever outcome and being ok with it.  I knew surviving the surgery was going to be risky. I was so weak and my body was so tired. We had come to a point of.. If the surgery didnt save me or kill me the sickness would for sure kill me in a matter of months if I was lucky enough for that.

I tried to smile and be brave. I finally lost it when I saw my husband and my Pastor run through the doors as they were prepping me for surgery. I had said my goodbyes and I love you's. God knew I needed them there just for a few minutes before going in. I needed to be reminded of how much I was loved, Cherished, and Needed.

I remember waking up after surgery.. My first words were "WOW, I made it!" I laughed and realized I was not in pain...... For the first time in almost 9 years I was not in pain. I looked around and saw my mom holding her Bible just smiling. If one thing got me through this was her faith. Even when she was afraid, or worried she would speak in Faith, she would speak God's Truth over me. Even when I didn't want to hear it.

There were a few complications after surgery. which sent me to ICU for a month. Most of the month I was in an Induced Comma. The hope was to allow my body to rest and allow it to heal it self. I had gotten pneumonia. I had fluid in both my lungs. I've seen the pictures they took of my lungs and it shows only about a quarter size area with no fluid in both lungs. I gave it my all to try to get that fluid out. I remember this mask and Oxygen blowing so fast, all I can remember was pain. My heart started to give (it had been fighting for so long). I heard the Doctor tell the nurses " she can't go on like this, she wont make it 24 hrs" . I wrote down "I AM NOT GIVING UP, I'M GOING TO FIGHT"  I tried to convey this to my mom and the nurses and allowed them to put me in an induced comma and under go a  tracheostomy.

All I can remember after that is Peace, no pain, no worry, just peace like I have never felt before. 

I remember the confusion I felt when I woke up. One I was wearing what looked like boxing mittens on my hands. So many beeping noises, and machines. I did see a lot of smiles. Everyone looked so tired. What I thought had been only two days had been a whole month of not knowing.

Once I woke up there were still a lot of questions about how much of my health I would recover. The way I saw it I was alive, it was a matter of getting stronger and we could deal with all the issues then. I spent another month in the hospital for a total close to three months.

I left the hospital on March 16 0f 2012, I had a feeding tube connected to my stomach, I had antibiotics being pumped through a chest port. I could eat some foods but I still had to take it easy. I needed help walking, I still could not go up stairs on my own, no showers on my own, I still had a hole on my throat ( YOU COULD HEAR A HISSING SOUND).

I remember sitting in the car and just crying from Joy. Husband said where do you want to go first? I said "to Church they are having Game night and I want to laugh and play I do not want to go lay in a bed... "  

Not sure what was more funny seeing everyone's reaction to me being there or people not recognizing me ( I had not realized how bad I looked lol) . 

That following Sunday I made it to Church. I sat in the back trying to not make to much of a distraction. Walking up to the front to get communion was a WOW moment for me. One from where I was sitting it looked so far..... It was important for me to make it there and back. I wanted to show my church family what all their prayers had done. What God had done.......

Mike(Husband),Me, our God sons Jacob & Hilan  Jan 2013

WOW what a difference a year makes. This year has been such a blessing and I want to thank you for being there to ride this crazy ride with me. The things we have seen have only one explanation "God's Grace".

I have been Healed, not just my Body, my mind, my spirit, my Soul. There is no way you can know me and not believe there is a Loving God. 

Friday, January 11, 2013

One year and counting.....

Last year at this time I was laying in bed. praying for a miracle, for an answer, for an end. I had lay in bed for almost two weeks. Unable to get up on my own strength, was trying to drink and eat but my body was rejecting everything. The pain was beyond anything I had felt in the past 8 years (if you  go by pain scale 0-10, I was at a 10++++).
Husband left me that morning with pain and worry in his eyes. Even if we both didn't talk about it we both knew this fight was coming to a close. I called him a few minutes after he left and let him hear what he had been begging me to tell him. Go ahead and take me to the emergency room. Lets see if they can do something different this time. If you know me , you know I'm not a quitter, I'm a bit stubborn. I do not back down to a challenge... Not sure what made me take that picture on the left. Other than I had faith. I felt that in time I would want to remember the moment I was giving up control.

Didn't even make it to the car. I collapse on our drive way. Had to be taken into hospital by ambulance. Getting in  was a little of the same old story.. we have no idea  whats  wrong other  than  you are starving your self,  you are not taking your meds.. blahh, blahh. Blood work showed my body was so depleted of nutrients, blood, it was starting to shut down. The pain was unbearable. not so much the physical pain but the pain I felt in my heart when I saw my loved ones feel so helpless. Me being me I tried to smile, and play it off. I knew this time was different. I was tired, my spirit as tired. It had been a long 8 years of questions, and very little answers.
 I don't even remember this picture being taken. This little guy, I can't even explain.... His love for me... is one of the many reasons I held on. I was blessed to have my brother stationed only 45 minutes away. My mom flew from California was here with in days.

I remember knowing I was going to be in the hospital for a while and no real date of release.. there was a plan to keep me alive but no real answer as to the why's to my condition. I lost two weeks of time. I was being given to much protein and my body couldn't handle it. I remember around the 28th of January I was trying to figure out why everyone looked so tired.... After all the doctors talking it was decided have an open stomach surgery... This decision saved my life.
Part of my intestine was not working properly, I had a ball (a tennis size) of metal covered in scar tissue. I had a hernia repair 8 years prior and at some point that came undone and created a metal ball. In eight years no one had been able to figure that out.. One of the many questions was finally answered. Why I was always in need of blood transfusions. why I was in so much pain.

The story of my surgery will come later..... I just want to celebrate today and the year full of blessings I have had since then. I've had nothing but Victories... every day I'm alive is a victory to me....

I want to finish this on a good note. My day started making husband breakfast, prepping his lunch, sending him off to work with a kiss at the front door. I made some juice for my breakfast and the rest of the day. Got dressed and out the door I went. 5 miles of a fast walk.. a few tears of joy... Washer and dryer are going.... have plans to deep cleaned the bathroom.... Special dinner is being planned for the hubby....... My fur children are going wild down stairs. My day is way different today than it was a year ago..... Thank you God for that.... I have so many things to be thankful for.

I pray that you take a moment to remember your journey. Remember where you have been in a year. Celebrate every victory no matter how  small it is. Remember you are not the same person you were a year ago.... Blessings Idalia Green

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

1/365 I have conquer the begining of a new year

How many of you are sitting there waiting for that magic remedy to take care of your hurts? How many are taking so many pills to try to diminish your pain? How many of you are taking other pills to take care of the side affects that come with taking those magic pills that are supposed to help you heal. Let me tell you not long ago I was there with you. feeling lost, confused, and helpless. I didn't see an end to the vicious cycle. i would look around and  see that a lot of my family and friends were in the same boat. By the Grace of God I was introduced to Juicing and its healing properties. My life took a 180 degree turn.

I made the decision a few days ago to do another juice cleanse. Why? you ask well I have not reached my health goals. There is two groups on facebook I am part of: Juicing 101 with Steven Robalino & January 2013, Juicy Judi's "juicing only" challenge group. People from all over the world have made a commitment to make a change for their health. This gives me the support I need to do this. I am not alone in this journey. We are all learning from each other. My last fast lasted 20 very successful days. For the most part I have tried to stay on a plant based diet. I have managed to keep the weight I lost during that fast. I have not felt deprived, or hungry. quite the opposite. I have a bigger selection of food I eat on a daily basis. I have made substitutions for dairy,eggs, meats. I am making better choices on sea food.

I do not compromise on our health. which means we have more home made meals, we pick and choose where we eat when we are out. We pack a lunch bag with snacks and drinks when we are out and about. I make bigger meals, separate and store for days that are busy and hectic. There is a lot of planning, more organizing but I can honestly tell you we are seeing the changes in our health.

My husband has been doing a 20oz green juice almost every day for the past three months. He is eating a lot more green vegetables, took wheat and most gluten off his diet, we have Quinoa, forbidden rice (black rice), we use Coconut oil, Extra virgin olive oil, grape seed oil, Nutritional yeast, Have cut down his egg intake (using egg replacer, he does not know and has not noticed the change).  The changes have been done very slowly and yes some with out his knowledge. He is starting to notice the changes in his body. Some are very small but they are improvements and at the end of the day that is the goal. Will he ever do a juice fast with me? not sure, he has been surprising me since the day I met him. No reason why he could not surprise me on this as well.

Our Monthly food bill has increased in some ways but in many it has decreased. The money I would have spent on restaurants, sweets, Junk food is no longer used for that. I am making most of our snacks in the Dehydrator. Making Vegan and Vegetarian dishes which cost so much less. We are not spending money in Doctors visits or medication as we were before.

So I guess what I'm saying is this change is working for us. Even if my husband won't fully admit it, he is willing to try, which makes me very blessed.

After all of that, I'll tell you a little about my first day of the Year...I did my first 5 miles of the year. It was not the fastest walk but I was moving (hoping that in a few months I'm able to start jogging). I was out in the cold air with a huge smile on my face. Hydrated with 32oz of lemon/cayenne water. Took a short nap in the middle of the day. Had a late lunch 26oz of Happy Green Juice ( I refuse to add meanness to my body, normally the green juice its called "mean green juice") I'm drinking my dinner as I type away.

I have felt a few symptoms of the detox: A few aches and pains,Have not felt hungry or deprived, a little more tired than usual ( a good nap took care of that quick). One trick I learned on my last juice fast was to make sure I kept my Juice very close by when cooking my husband's dinner.  I can say today has been a very successful day.

Almost forgot...One new thing I started today was a Blessings Jar. I could not find a bigger. My label says: 2013 I'm so going to conquer you...
  • God's Winks
  • Daily Blessings
  • Accomplished Goals
  • Answered Prayers
  • Followed God's word
closed with a scripture Matthew 5:16 
Something to keep you motivated through out the year.. on the last day of the year you open the jar and read through all the blessings you were showered with..... I Pray your first day of the year was a Blessed one...... Join me on this challenge make a healthy choice every day. go for a walk around the block, east more fruit and veggies, drink more H2O, drink less caffeine..... one small choice at a time..... 21 days of doing something becomes a habit! Blessings Idalia G.