Have you ever been so sick, but have no idea of the why? You change the way you eat, you take supplements, go to the Doctor only to find out they know less than you. They treat you like you are crazy, do not really listen to what you say then you get accused of not taking your medication. I have been fighting that battle for the past 8 years. I have been accused from not taking my medication, to lying about my pain, about my food intake. Even Family thought it was all in my head. I was diagnosed with so many things and then nothing at all.
I will not give some one else control of my health. My well being is my responsibility. No one better than me knows what my body needs or how it responds to medication, food, stress. In January I was rushed to the hospital. I could no longer support my own weight. I had no strength. My protein levels were so low I had gained over 100lbs on water weight. Blood counts were the lowest possible ( I got 6 pints of blood) The pain from the swelling was just nothing I can describe in words. Other than by telling you it felt like some one was cutting at my skin with a knife. My body had started to shutdown. I was eating but nothing was staying down. My body was on starvation mode.
I was so sick and tired of being sick and tired. Mentally I just couldn't do it any more. I couldn't take the stares the whispers. It did not bother me from strangers but it killed me from my own family. ( I know I never said anything and maybe you all didn't even know I knew, and its OK) I felt bad for my husband he had a broken wife, mentally emotionally and physically broken. I had good days and I had OK days, the bad days I did not let anyone see. My husband saw those a few times. I sat several times on the floor of the bathroom with a bottle full of pills and a bottle of wine. It was my husband who finally got me to understand that was a coward way to face my world. that I was being selfish and only thinking of my own pain and not his. That is the last time suicide entered my mind. I believe in God and believe in miracles. I just didn't see it happening to me. I wanted to die, I wanted the pain to end the endless vicious cycle to end.
Oh so many said pray, if you pray you will find the answers, I laughed and said right. Thank you God, they were right, on the bad days God got me through, on the good days God got me through. I am here because He did not leave me. Because I have family, friends who even when I was weak they were strong believers of God's truth.
After so many doctors, so many tests, so many diagnosis.... they decided on a open stomach surgery, I was scared it wasn't the first time or the second. I knew this was the last time. I even told the surgeon "I think you are going to kill me in the operating table". I prayed with my Mom and decided on yes to the surgery. My Family was there and I can't tell you how much that meant for me. and how much it hurt to see the worry in their eyes. I tried to be brave the whole time, I lost it when I saw my Pastor and my Husband run into the room where they were prepping me for surgery.
I remember waking up from surgery, for the first time in 8 years I was not in excruciating pain. The pain from the surgery was not even close to what I had been living the past 8 years. The surgeon not only saved my life, but found the why to it all. The road to recovery was going to be a nice one I was told.
Due to the amount of water fluid I had been retaining I had complications after surgery. I was rushed to ICU and after a couple of days of fighting I agreed to an induced comma. to try to give my body time to heal. It was only supposed to be 2 to 3 days. Apparently God had other plans. Not only was my family told I had 24 hrs left, to not sure if she will ever recover. A month later I awoke. Had two feeding tubes one connected to my stomach, and one through my nose. Antibiotics,pain killers, had to relearn how to walk, how to talk, how to take a breath.
Funny thing, I wanted to LIVE....... it had been a very long time but I wanted to LIVE... the pain that I was feeling was real to me and to everyone. The struggle was real to the world.
I really felt I needed to explain that so you will understand my WHY?
Food will become my Doctor. I am a strong believer that what you eat can heal you as well as kill you. Food is a horrible addiction. It can be a drug worst than heroin. Thanks to my wonderful friend JP( I will keep that short). she talked about juicing. which got me to research and find out more information. It made sense to me. You drink green juices and you absorb 100% of the nutrients straight into your system. It goes to your blood stream not to your stomach ( remember mine is compromised) it solved one of my issues. wow wonderful! then she talked about a juicing fast! As a support to her I did it for 15 days before her wedding. And Imagine what happen?
I was feeling better. my vitamins levels were going up faster than ever. My skin sores were healing, my hair was growing. I had energy, I felt alive. The mental fogginess was gone. I had been declared legally blind. Prior to all this. and guess what I could see. not only in well lighted areas but in dark areas. My night vision was back. I have not been able to drive in a long time.
I did a second 18 day fast but only did 2 full juices a day and one full meal. to detox my system of all the meds, and try to get rid of the drug dependencies that I was stuck with. After this fast I was able to sleep for 8 hours straight. Thanks to the Medications I was taking I gained 50-lbs (yikes).
If you got to the bottom of this, Thank you. This is not for everyone. Eating healthy is, living healthy is. Thank you for being with me through this journey. Blessings!!