This time last year I had no clue if I was ever going to leave the hospital. The talks were you are leaving this facility only to go to another one to help you recover. The Chaplin at the hospital was an angel and took me outside to the spring air and sunshine. After being in the hospital 3 months this very simple act of kindness on her part was a huge blessing for me. I can still close my eyes and feel the warmth of the sun, the light breeze moving the little hair that had started to grow back. I still had to sit on a wheelchair and be helped but I was not in a bed, I was not in a comma, I was able to fully enjoy what was happening (yup there were tears, and I had to promise I would not try to run away). March14 we were told there might be a possibility of me going home in two days, with a lot of restrictions but Going home. Boy did I pray and made everyone pray with me some more. I missed my Fur kids, I missed my husband (not the tired/worried/ anxious person that had been coming to visit me), I missed my Church Family.
Hubby helped wheel me out of the Hospital on March 16 2012. Oh what a glorious day.. It was cloudy, rainy, and cold. But I swear it was one of the most beautiful day in my life. Hubby asked.. "where do you want to go first?" knowing my husband I knew there was no food at home (no real food). so off to Walmart we went.... The first time in almost two years I was able to walk the whole store (with the help of the shopping cart). Yes I was the crazy lady giggling all over the store. i was seeing things for the first time in a long time. My eye sight was almost gone when I went in to the hospital in January. I was seeing for the first time in a long time. The noises were every where. I had a blast just watching people interact with each other.
One thing I noticed was how everyone looked tired,stressed,unhappy. I was quick to mention this to my husband, he just smiled and gave me a kiss and told me " It's so good to have you back". Here I was walking on my own strength. Yes I had a feeding tube in my stomach, a chest port being pumped with antibiotics, a hole in my throat (from the tracheostomy). But I was the happiest girl in the world. Seeing my loving husband be so proud to hold my hand as we both giggled down the grocery isles was priceless.
5 things I have learned this year...
1: Nothing is Impossible
2:There is no I/You Can't
3:I am loved beyond any understanding
4:My dreams Can/Will come true
5: With Discipline & Consistency I can achieve it all
I am thankful every day for all the obstacles that I have had this year. with every single one of them I have proven to my self what I am capable of doing. I see the world differently from how It used to be.
I appreciate the small as much as the big. I heard something last week at our Bible study. someone saying.." I'm sitting on top of the world, swinging my feet" That is exactly how I feel.
One year later and I am a different person inside and out. I have slowly conquered old fears. I have slowly gained confidence in my self and my abilities. I am driving again (had not been able to in almost 8 years). I have a part time Job, which gives me great satisfaction. I am very active in my Church. I am physically active on a daily basis. i challenge my self to step out of my comfort zone on a daily basis. I try to share my love for life to everyone I meet. Life is to short to waste it wishing for change.
I pray that as you read this..
But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.