Last year at this time I was laying in bed. praying for a miracle, for an answer, for an end. I had lay in bed for almost two weeks. Unable to get up on my own strength, was trying to drink and eat but my body was rejecting everything. The pain was beyond anything I had felt in the past 8 years (if you go by pain scale 0-10, I was at a 10++++).
Didn't even make it to the car. I collapse on our drive way. Had to be taken into hospital by ambulance. Getting in was a little of the same old story.. we have no idea whats wrong other than you are starving your self, you are not taking your meds.. blahh, blahh. Blood work showed my body was so depleted of nutrients, blood, it was starting to shut down. The pain was unbearable. not so much the physical pain but the pain I felt in my heart when I saw my loved ones feel so helpless. Me being me I tried to smile, and play it off. I knew this time was different. I was tired, my spirit as tired. It had been a long 8 years of questions, and very little answers.
I don't even remember this picture being taken. This little guy, I can't even explain.... His love for me... is one of the many reasons I held on. I was blessed to have my brother stationed only 45 minutes away. My mom flew from California was here with in days.
Part of my intestine was not working properly, I had a ball (a tennis size) of metal covered in scar tissue. I had a hernia repair 8 years prior and at some point that came undone and created a metal ball. In eight years no one had been able to figure that out.. One of the many questions was finally answered. Why I was always in need of blood transfusions. why I was in so much pain.
The story of my surgery will come later..... I just want to celebrate today and the year full of blessings I have had since then. I've had nothing but Victories... every day I'm alive is a victory to me....
I want to finish this on a good note. My day started making husband breakfast, prepping his lunch, sending him off to work with a kiss at the front door. I made some juice for my breakfast and the rest of the day. Got dressed and out the door I went. 5 miles of a fast walk.. a few tears of joy... Washer and dryer are going.... have plans to deep cleaned the bathroom.... Special dinner is being planned for the hubby....... My fur children are going wild down stairs. My day is way different today than it was a year ago..... Thank you God for that.... I have so many things to be thankful for.
I pray that you take a moment to remember your journey. Remember where you have been in a year. Celebrate every victory no matter how small it is. Remember you are not the same person you were a year ago.... Blessings Idalia Green